This was not as wretched as I was lead to believe by many of the reviews I’ve read. The blogs about test audiences and re-shoots did not inspire confidence, but this is X-Men and wild horses couldn’t drag me away. In what should have been a slow burn leading to an explosion, blows out in ultimately forgettable poof of light. Is this the finale that X-Men by Fox deserves? Considering the bloat towards the end of the original trilogy and the disappointment that was Apocalypse, it could scarcely do better.

Overly dour and incredibly stern, there are no highs and lows to ride in this film, just a solid tonal line of unrelenting grim. Quicksilver (Evan Peters) gets in one good joke and then is promptly out of action, as if punished, for most of the film. While the tale of Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) realizing she was controlled and betrayed by Professor X (James Mcavoy) should be given its due weight, the lack of any levity robs the audience of the chance to process the soul sucking reality of what has happened to her. When the first major death occurs it is hard to care as we’ve never been given a chance to invest in that relationship.

For a story about how Jean was manipulated without her consent and then with the help of a cosmic force begins to break those chains and expose her abuser, there are just too many men telling her story. From the writer/director to the overwhelming male cast taking up most of the speaking time, I cannot help but wonder how different and more much impact this story could have had if there been more women leading in front of and behind the camera. More than one review has remarked on a line shouted by Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) and how forced it feels, as if they’re checking a box for “feminism achieved”. Considering the lack of nuance and relationship development, the anger with Professor X feels slightly hollow, as if the movie isn’t convinced he did the wrong thing, and his apologies never truly satisfy.

I enjoyed Turner, Mcavoy, and Michael Fassbender who are clearly committed to their characters and their journey, however, it’s equally as clear that others are phoning it in. The woodenness and lack of effort are to the point where they may as well stare directly into the camera and say,”I quit!” Storm is…present. Storm’s accent is definitely from some place I have never been to and you probably haven’t either. I’m still struggling to find it on any map. Perhaps it’s next to Wakanda?

It’s not until the last act we finally hit an emotional wave and a genuinely thrilling fight scene. It’s here the CGI shines, making you forget these are actors on a sound stage grimacing really hard as they wave their hands around. Had more of the film been like the last act, Dark Phoenix could have been a splendid conclusion. The dough is there, but it needs more time in the oven.

Samuel L. Jackson reprises his role as John Shaft II, the tough talking, ladies’ man and outlaw, but this time the bad mutha$@(K# is simply a bad father who must reconcile his relationship with his son to solve the case. There aren’t many franchises that focus on cast of black actors and Shaft is an pop culture phenomenon that spans generations.

John Shaft II is still the too cool, turtle neck fitted, sharp shooter who abandoned the law and his son. His poorly wrapped, age inappropriate birthday and christmas presents–the only contact he has with his son–are played for laughs. John Shaft II reminded many of my fellow viewers of the beloved, problematic, older men in their lives who cling to outdated mores and doesn’t see much value in the upcoming generation’s ideas. He’s a bundle of toxic masculinity in slick packaging, not unlike the previous versions of the character, but the gay jokes and misogyny grate. I understand what they’re trying to illustrate and I felt that realistic familiarity of those of older black men we all know, but often times, just as in real life, it felt exhausting.

John “JJ” Shaft Jr (Jessie Usher) is the foil for his father. JJ is a millennial with an affection for flannel button ups, has no game but plenty of anxiety and despite being in the FBI, harbors a strong aversion to guns. He has a desire to prove himself as an FBI agent in the field but is humiliated and denied. When his best friend (My fav, Avan Jogia) dies under mysterious circumstances he takes a chance and beings investigating his death.
The movie is strongest when it leans into its characters. Usher, Regina Hall, and Jackson bounce off each with undeniable chemistry. The humor always surprises and the lines are punched up to 11. The laughs rang through the theater going well past the intended stopping points. However, when it comes to the story things get blurry and the film goes for easy instead of innovative.

Jogia’s character is Muslim, but dies early in the film and the only other Muslim character with significant lines is a portrayed as villainous.Women are given more agency than in past Shaft films, but they are still portrayed as incapable of defending themselves. The incredible Lauren Vélez just isn’t’ given much to do. Having Hall’s or Alexandra Shipp’s characters shoot side by side with their Shaft counter parts is truly a missed opportunity. Like Jackson’s Shaft, it appears the film can only think in a box black and white while eschewing and ridiculing the embrace of gray that Usher’s character is supposed to embody.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton